Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
