Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
