I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
