We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
