Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
