So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize