He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
