i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
