I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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