so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hippo gnu deer
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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