I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
