I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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