btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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