I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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