remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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