Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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