So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
