ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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