Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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