Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
