I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
