Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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