We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
