Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
