dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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