oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
