I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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