Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
