why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
