i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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