ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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