But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
