The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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