Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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