Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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