Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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