Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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