just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
