Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize