True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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