i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
