Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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