we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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