Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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