Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize