she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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