Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't make out with my wife yet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
