I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
