How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
