its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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