so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
