I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize