its not stalking. its research.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
