Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we're making bets on your personal life
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i think i just lost a toe
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
